Measuring success

In a Weight Watchers meeting many moons ago (and probably a few moons since), the topic for the week was different ways of measuring success. Sometimes the scale does not reflect the week we've had. Just as I've had some weigh-ins where the scale reflected much better than I'd deserved for my behavior, I've had other weigh-in where I've felt jilted. I've had weeks where I KNOW I was good. I worked out, stayed OP (on plan) . . . and either lost nothing or very little. This week was actually one of those weeks. I felt like I'd behaved pretty well. I lost .2 -- as in less than a quarter of a pound. I was bummed. I wanted to lose 10# in February, or at least hit 80 pounds total lost. I'm at 277. I've lost 79.8#.

So here are some other ways I can measure success so far:

1)I don't have pitting edema (REALLY swollen ankles and feet) at the end of the work days anymore.

2) Despite the fact that I have not been very consistent with my exercise, I am now walking at 3.3 to 3.4 mph and stay in the "OwnZone" range on my Polar heart monitor. Well, my average is with-in the range. I've been out of range some. 80 pounds ago I believe 2.8 to 3.0 was what I was at. I can tolerate walking faster now, but my heart rate really goes up. I'm hoping that if I get more consistent with my work-outs I'll see improvement in my heart rate during work-outs.

3)I've gone down at least a size or two in clothing. I know -- 80 pounds seems like it should be quite a few sizes different. I don't like to wear my clothing too tight. I have a few tops that are a little more snug, but most of them are loose. I can fit into some clothes from WalMart now. Before I HAD to buy my clothes from specialty stores because the plus sizes from places like Target and WalMart were too small. Sadley, I think I'm down about a cup size. I'm not that vain about my "girls," but I have other areas -- like my stomache or butt -- that I'd rather see decrease in size first!

4)I fit in a movie theatre seat! I still cringe when I sit down -- it's reflexive -- waiting for the pain of scraping and squeezing my tail end and thighs past the arm rests and into the seat.

5)Going up and down the bleacher seats at the Nascar races . . . my husband and I are big race fans. We usually go to at least one race a year, and have gone to as many as many as 4 one year. The whole experience is a little more enjoyable with 80 less pounds to carry around.
There is a lot of walking at the races -- walking around all the pre-race stuff they have set up for the fans, all the souvenier trailers . . . and walking to your seat. Getting to your seat usually involves climbing stairs. A LOT of stairs. I can remember having to sit down for a few minutes part way up the bleachers one year. As I sat there trying to catch my breath, I wondered if anyone was placing a bet on whether or not the "fat lady" would make it to her seat.
We're going to the race next week-end. I'm not looking forward to the stairs, but I think I can make it up without stopping.

6) I'm planning on participating in a sprint triathlon the first Saturday in June. That will be a real accomplishment for me. While I haven't done it yet, just preparing and getting ready is a measurement of success for me.

With that point, I have to sign off. It's getting a little later and I still have laundry and supper to think about.

I will go to the gym

I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. (Trying to convince myself). I will go to the gym . . . .

Prologue -- 78 pounds ago

The short version -- I've lost 78.4 pounds since May 2006

The whole saga . . .

It's the beginning of April 2006 and I'm starting Weight Watchers. It's not the first time and it's not pretty . . . I'm 356.8 pounds. I'm now closer to 400 than I am to 300. Yikes. YIKES!!! I'm not completely shocked. We have a doctors scale at home so I have an idea of what to expect.

Then I go missing-in-action for about a month. I do this sometimes. I don't recommend it. Now it's May 2006. I haven't lost any weight but, by the grace of God, I haven't gained any either. I'm exactly the same. Still not good. Since I haven't been following the program (aka "on plan") I'm thankful that I'm not up. I don't want to hit 400. That's were I'm headed if I don't change NOW. How did I even get to 356??

While I've followed Weight Watchers before with success, I'd never reached my goal. I had always gotten side-tracked somewhere along the way and reverted back to my unhealthy, large fries, two double cheeseburgers and a coke at the drive through, eating habits. Let's face it, I didn't get to this weight by eating carrots and apples. Life would come along -- a vacation, the holidays, moving, stress, etc . . . I'd get off track and would not find my way back until maybe a year or two later. By then I'd have gained back whatever I'd lost and then some.

In between my stops and starts with Weight Watchers, I've tried some other weight loss plans. I find for myself, Weight Watchers "flex plan" is what works best and seems the most simple. I know some others who don't like the whole "Point" counting thing. It works for me. To me, it's no worse than counting calories. I don't mind the journaling. It keeps me honest. I'm a volume person, whether it's steak or pasta. Writing it down and sticking to a certain number of points a day keeps that in check.

I mention my past success and failures to hopefully encourage people who have been in that same boat. DON'T GIVE UP. Most of us know the deal -- you have to make lifestyle changes. You can't see this as a temporary thing to just take the weight off. Intellectually, we KNOW this. Knowing something and applying it aren't the same. Knowing it does not magically make it easy. But you CAN start over. The sooner the better :-) A bad day, a bad week, or even a bad month does not mean you're a failure. You can pick up right were you are.

I've lost just over 78 pounds so far. Most of that I lost in about 10 months. Then I hit a rough patch. Between The middle of March 2007 and the end of August 2007, I weighed in sporadically. I'd like to blame it on the fact that in the spring we went on vacation, moved, and went on another week-long trip to visit family. But that only accounts for April, May, and the first week in June. I really struggled during those 5 months. I'd swing from being moderately good to being REALLY bad. I was MIA a lot during that period. But it was different than before. I was struggling but I was not giving up. In the past it would have been a year or maybe two before my shadow would grace the door of a Weight Watcher meeting. When I finally settled back down at the end of August, I was 305. I'd gained about 25 pounds back. I'd weighed at home, so I knew what to expect. I didn't let it stop me from going back. I didn't wait a year or two. I'd gained 25 pounds, but I hadn't gained back all 75+. I was not quitting, but I was discouraged. I even asked them to reset my start weight to that day (end of August 2007). They did, but gave me a print-out of my previous weigh-ins in case I changed my mind.

When I first asked them to "start me over" in August it was a real mental thing with me. I'd had a plan for how much I'd lose a month (10 pounds). Even though I hadn't gained everything back, I wasn't where my "plan" said I should be. The picture of my weight loss didn't look like I wanted it to. While I felt good that I was getting my eating under control again, I was discouraged when I thought about the 5 months I'd "lost," when I was following Weight Watchers so sporadically. I had a hard time focusing on the positive -- the 50 pounds I'd kept off. I wasn't where I could have been, and that felt like failure. I would mentally calculate where I could be if I hadn't "screwed up." I wanted to "start over" so that I could have my perfect loose-10-pounds-a-month plan with no setbacks. I wanted the picture of my weight loss journey to look perfect -- no detours allowed.

A few weeks ago I had them restore my start weight to what it had been in April 2006. I was glad they'd given me a printed record of my previous weigh-ins. "All or nothing" and "it has to go exactly according to plan," attitudes are not beneficial. I can't change those 5 months. I can't change all the years that brought me to 356 pounds. I can only go forward. I've taken off the weight that I gained. I've lost a total of 78.4 as of yesterday's weigh-in.

My husband started following Weight Watchers on-line program and has encouraged me so much. I'm really proud of him. His success and enthusiasm have buoyed me. He's a computer geek and has done some neat things to track his progress. You'll have to check out his blog -- see the link to the right (fatguysjourney). My favorite thing he's done is the "virtual" bike ride. He's tracking his miles on the stationary bike and plotting a course across the US. Actually, I think he's in Canada right now. He set this blog up for me and is going to show me the ropes. He's such a good guy and so good to me. Spoils me rotten, really. :-) Anyone reading this who knows us knows it's true :-)

I'm still setting goals. I'd still like to lose 8 to 10 pounds a month. Preferably 10. But since this is a "lifestyle" change and not just a diet, I may find myself in a situation where I take a detour. Life is not perfect and I'll have days where, as my husband would say, I "go off the reservation." I just have to remember that every day is a new start. Blowing one day does not have to mean blowing the whole week -- or worse. For that matter, we've talked in our meetings how blowing one meal does not mean you have to write off the whole day. You can start over with the very next meal. You can reign it in right there. It does not mean that you starve yourself the rest of the day if you blow it at breakfast or lunch. It means you start being sensible at the next meal.

And that's were I am right now. I'm not at my goal weight according to my perfect plan. But I weigh less at 38 than I did at 36. I'll weigh less at 39 than I did at 38. Progress.

This blog is about my triumphs and challenges. From cheesecake to "cheat night" after weigh ins (don't tell my Weight Watcher leader!!) to my goal of completing a sprint triathlon. It's a log of where I've come from and where I'm headed.

And now, the laundry is calling and the Daytona 500 is about to start. I need to get the load switched before I hear the "boogity boogity boogity let's go racing!"